We’ve managed to stay out of the hospital for 2+ weeks now, which is the longest we’ve gone since this whole thing began.We are starting to get into a routine with our days. Get up, take Harlow to daycare, go to radiation, and after that the world is our oyster. By the grace of God, Ryan has been tolerating his treatments very well with minimal side effects. He sometimes experiences headaches, or fatigue in the afternoons/evenings but that has been the extent of it to date. Our radiologists say that in the next few days is when more side effects from radiation typically kick in, as we are close to 2 weeks into treatment now.
We were able to get away last weekend and spend some time with family up north which was so good for the soul. After overdoing it right after surgery, we have been playing it extra safe so it was really nice to see Ryan being active and in his element.
It is weird to say that we are getting back to normal… I mean is that even a thing anymore? But we are definitely getting into a routine and coming to terms with our new “normal”. It is still a daily roller coaster of emotions. Some days are good, and then there are still days where I don’t believe this is real life. Seriously?! Is this real life???
I wrestle daily with the Lord. My head still cannot reconcile that this is happening and that God has a plan. But at the same time, I cannot (and do not) accept that there isn’t. This cannot be for nothing. Ryan and I have had so many conversations about why this has happened to us; what God is doing with this. We’ve concluded that even if the only thing that changes through this experience is our relationship with each other and our relationship with the Lord, that will be enough.
We are experiencing a refining fire, and we will come out better for it. We are trusting in our God who does Big BIG things, and taking notice of the innumerable ways he has shown up for us, both in the tiniest seemingly insignificant ways, as well as the big ways that seem too coincidental to happen otherwise.
Thank you for continuing to walk with us, to pray for us, and to lift us up. We love you all.